


The Easter Devil

by Evarella



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Easter, Easter Eggs, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:53:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23617084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evarella/pseuds/Evarella
Summary: Well, if Lucifer has to join the festivities, he'll do it his way. Fun for (almost) all.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40





	The Easter Devil

**Author's Note:**

> After talking to my (German) mom this morning, and her joking about the two guys in my life (poly), I was inspired to write this fic. Just something that made me laugh.

The Easter Devil

The door flew open with a bang, followed by a rage-filled, “Lucifer! Come here you son of a – “  
The tirade would have continued if not for Chloe’s hand over his mouth and a rather displeased look. “Dan, it’s Easter. And your daughter is in earshot, looking for Easter eggs. So whatever beef you have with Lucifer, could it possibly wait? Especially since he brought the eggs since you were, yet again, late. On Easter. For our family celebration with our daughter.”  
Dan tried to control his flood of emotions. Anger, guilt, shame, and outrage, all in equal measure. The damn self-proclaimed devil had done it again. Made Dan look like a douche, and himself a saint, even though he was 100% sure his newest predicament was Lucifer’s fault. However, he wasn’t keen on really sharing the root of his ire, and truth be told, he had gotten carried away, originally having planned on just seeing Chloe and Trixie and letting his anger simmer before confronting Lucifer another time. But of course, whose corvette was the first thing he saw when he drove up? And he knew he was late, and dammit, it was HIS fault!  
Trixie shot in the house, having heard her father’s voice, excitedly hugging his legs before showing off the exquisitely colored eggs overflowing in her basket. The dark-haired bane of Dan’s existence followed in from the garden, a self-serving smirk on his lips. “Oh Dan, nice to see you. Isn’t Easter fun?”  
Dan’s face turned an impressive shade of red and it took all his self-restraint not to punch Morningstar in the face. It was an honest Easter miracle that he somehow managed to turn on a smile, hugging his daughter back, and complimenting his daughter’s Easter hunt finds, while ignoring the consultant completely.   
Chloe was a little confused by Dan’s behavior. Honestly, she was beyond angry that he was late again for an important event in his daughter’s life. His entrance had been less than stellar as well. However, she knew Dan and she knew Lucifer. There was a pretty good chance Dan was justified in being angry. Without wanting to spoil their Easter further, she chose to ignore whatever drama was taking place between the two men and instead served the ham she had prepared, complete with potatoes, and other delicious sides. Lucifer had shown up uninvited, but having brought eggs and candy for Trixie, Easter bread, fine wine, and even promising to be on his best behavior had weighed in his favor. The clincher was that Trixie had been beyond excited to see Lucifer, and after having been crushed that her father hadn’t shown up at the promised time, it had proven a worthwhile diversion Chloe could put up with.   
Both Dan and Lucifer seemed like perfect gentlemen for the afternoon, but she did notice the death stares Dan threw his nemesis whenever he thought she wasn’t looking. As luck would have it, around 4 pm, Penelope Decker stopped by as well, and asked to steal Trixie away for a couple hours to go to a grandma high tea event for Easter. Trixie was gung-ho after asking if Lucifer and her dad would still be here when she came back, and both men promised they would. Once the nicknamed urchin had stepped out the door Chloe confronted the two. “Ok, enough of this. Lucifer, what did you do?”  
Lucifer innocently bashed his eyelashes. “Me? I simply followed Easter traditions, and I made sure not to make anyone feel left out.” He mischievously winked at Dan. “Eierfaerben – wonderful German tradition!”  
“What the hell is Eierfaerben?” Dan finally exploded. “I don’t know how you even did it, but I can’t get the damn paint off!”  
Lucifer’s grin grew wider. “Well Dan, “Eier” is eggs and “faerben” means to paint them. It only seems prudent to pick colors that won’t fade on the special day.”  
Dan turned red, then pale, then red again. His hands were called to fists, “How long?”  
Lucifer shrugged. “The paint should wash out over the next 7-10 days. I think it could work in your favor, really.”  
“That does it,” Dan started to come after Lucifer who quickly dashed to the other side of the table, tauntingly close out of reach. Chloe, finally putting two and two together understood Dan’s outrage, but she just couldn’t help herself. She started laughing hysterically.   
Dan looked at her like a wounded puppy, but Lucifer seemed pleased at the positive response from his favorite detective. “I’m sorry Dan,” she finally managed to choke out. “Lucifer, I know you don’t see, understand, or respect personal boundaries, but you really shouldn’t literally go below the belt.” She attempted to be stern, but it was hard when she pictured Dan’s “Easter basket.”  
Lucifer seemed undeterred. “But he did give me permission! I asked last week if he had Easter plans. He said he was going to spend it with you and Beatrice. He mentioned that he was intent to make this Easter special for you guys because he has let the urchin down on few past occasions and he knew he wanted to make it up for her. He said he would do anything to put a smile on your face. And well, then I knew he was forced to work unscheduled overtime on a case last night after you had gone home and couldn’t make it to the store. So I shopped for Easter supplies, and added my festive touches to Dan, because I knew it would make Chloe laugh. And well, me too. I promise nothing but paint and a brush ever touched you.”  
Dan just sighed. This was exactly why nothing ever stuck to the guy. He skirted all conventions, drove people crazy, and then somehow make you forget how annoying he was by making a grand gesture that was hard to ignore. Defeated Dan sat down and started on shoveling in the delicious pudding Lucifer handed him as a peace offering. “Lucifer, you do know that “Eierfaerben” only pertains to actual eggs, right? I mean, I just want to forestall any ideas you have for the nutcracker for Christmas.”   
Lucifer laughed. “Not to worry Dan, I’ll be a good boy.”  
“Sooo,” Chloe asked innocently, as they sat together, having some coffee with dessert. “What colors are they?”


End file.
